Sweeney Todd

Tim Burton adapts Stephen Sondheim. A master of film meets a master of the stage – what can possibly go wrong? Well, on this evidence, not much. Watching Sondheim on the big screen has several things going for it. Firstly, you can hear every last impeccable lyric in full-surround sound, reminding you of the reason he is the greatest exponent of the stage musical genre. Unlike watching Phantom Of The Opera (one of the most ball-shrinking experiences I’ve suffered in a cinema), where the music hits you like a wall of over-ripe stilton, Sondheim’s songs very much follow the grain, and only on a couple of occasions (the very first line being one of them) was I forced to wince.

One of the major make-or-break elements for critics of Sweeney Todd has been the casting of Johnny Depp. Whilst I certainly agree with the assertion that their creative relationship has probably now hit the glass ceiling, I nevertheless feel that in this case, it works well. Depp’s take on Willy Wonka was OTT and lacked comic timing, but here he manages to capture all the pain and bitterness of the infamous barber whilst only changing his facial expression once (ok, maybe twice). As his partner-in-grime Mrs Lovett, Helena Bonham-Carter is sublime, although her physical similarity to Depp is at times alarming, particularly when one considers that her partner is Burton, who in turn has a total obsession with Depp. Anyway, this disturbing ménage-a-trois aside, Sweeney Todd is an assured adaptation of a made-for-film story. Throw in one of Alan Rickman’s best performances in years, a great cameo by Sacha Baron Cohen and a child-star who can actually act, and you’ve got a mixture that tastes almost as good as Mrs Lovett’s.

The Value Of The Unpublished Word

Someone told me recently that there are nearly a million unpublished manuscripts in London alone. That’s a hell of a lot of un-read words. Perhaps one of the problems with writing these days is that it’s almost too easy. Computers make it all too simple to type, cut, paste and delete massive blocks of text without perhaps giving it due consideration. Computers also make it very easy to present a manuscript in a professional way, therefore giving you the impression that the work is of a good standard.

A theatre director said to me once “the problem with word processing is that it kids you into thinking your stuff is good”. I know what he means. Words today are often written quickly, read even quicker and discarded before they’ve really had any effect. The number of newspapers on offer, the mountains of ‘celebrity literature’ hitting the shelves and the constant bombardment of advertising copy have meant that words, much like water, have become something we take completely for granted. But written language is a wonderful thing that has taken civilisation thousands of years to perfect. We should enjoy the fact that we are living now, at a time when we can reap the benefits of centuries of development in education, technology and thought. We should also be using mediums such as the internet to spread the gift of written language, and not forget that there are still countless numbers of people for whom it is still out of reach.

Education is a gift, waste it at you peril. Write something. Sit down and start writing a stream of consciousness, anything. When you get home tonight, open your word processor or take out your notepad and just start to write something. So what if yours becomes one of those countless unread works. It’s a nice thought that one day something you wrote might be discovered by a descendant, or a friend that is sorting through your things. Keep a diary, or just write a brief autobiography. You’ll be amazed at how therapeutic it can be.

Oh and a word of warning – back your stuff up. My computer crashed recently and I lost several pieces of work for good. All I had to do was email them to myself and I would have a record, but unfortunately I never did. Well, unfortunate for me anyway!

Leave The Scientologists Alone

Tom Cruise - the man never ceases to amaze. Clearly, based on the evidence of the video that was leaked onto Youtube of him raving on about the benefits of Scientology ("we're the only ones who can help" etc.) the man is more than a few sandwiches short of a picnic. As an atheist and someone who likes to think of myself as a fairly level-headed individual, I can't possibly take what Cruise says even remotely seriously, and like the rest of the world (Scientologists excepted) tend to laugh in his general direction.

However, I refrain from going overboard in my criticism. This is for two reasons - firstly, it's a very big target, and like all big targets is never really that satisfying when you hit it. Secondly, I always fear that the more the wider world mocks a religious sect, the more people are driven towards it. Society is full of marginalised, attention-desperate individuals who will happily flock to a new 'religion' that has got everybody talking and hogs more than it's fair share of column inches. As has been proven by the rise of religious extremism in the past decade, no matter how much tabloids may titter or how many Richard Dawkins books are published, it will only serve to swell the ranks of these loony religions.

So I say we leave them alone. Give them the Wilde-ean punishment of 'not being talked about', and it will surely scare them more than the fires of hell ever will.

Gervais Doesn't Deserve Globe

It's not exactly news that Ricky Gervais has won yet another award, this time a Golden Globe for Extras. As a fan, I'm certainly not averse to the idea of Gervais (who I consider to have one of the sharpest comedy brains of our generation) receiving due credit for his work. But I do feel, in this case, they got it wrong. Now, admittedly the competition wasn't all that strong (30 Rock, Californication, Entourage and Pushing Daisies were the rivals), but nevertheless I think at least one of these shows (namely Entourage) was a better all-round piece of television.

The US infatuation with anything touched by the hand of Gervais is getting a bit embarrassing. Witness for example his guest turn on The Simpsons, which turned out to be little more than a watered-down David Brent dancing to the same old tune. Or look at Stardust, where his cameo as a space-merchant was once again reduced to a series of Brent-ish facial expressions and grammatical punctuations that we've become so used to.

The rumour is that Ricky's next project with Stephen Merchant will be a straight drama. I've not doubt they are capable of handling a serious piece, and in fact I'm fairly confident they'll excel (my theory has always been that good comedians can always handle 'heavier' material but rarely does it work the other way round). But whether the US (and indeed for that matter the UK) sycophants will allow him to grow out of Brent remains to be seen. I'd hate to see him follow the path so sadly trodden by Steve Coogan.

The T-ruth Will Out

Initials-instead-of-a-name queen KT Tunstall has announced she's getting married to long term partner Luke Bullen. I'm hoping there will be a classic 'revelation of the middle name' moment during the wedding when the vicar asks "do you Luke Bullen take Kate Todger Tunstall as your lawfully...".

Don't know why I wrote this. It's utterly ridiculous.

Thought For The Day

Please oh please could Newcastle United give Alan Shearer the job of manager. The reason? So that we'll no longer have to put up with his horrendous punditry on MOTD - the combination of him and Lawro is televisual cyanide. If he mentions the phrase "classic centre-forward's goal" one more time I'm going to throw a brick through my television. The man (and his ridiculous Island of receding hair) is a menace to the good name of entertainment. This is, after all, the whole point of football. So with that in mind I put in a vote for getting a comedian on the pundit panel - I mean let's face it, you could hold your own in that shower with only a basic grasp of the fundamentals. Frank Skinner for example would do an excellent job - at least he'd have something slightly more interesting to say than "that was sloppy" (Alan Hanson's oft-heard catchphrase). I'll tell you what's "sloppy" Alan - your shamefully limited vocabulary and simplistic usage of the English language!

There Will Be Blood (...But Not Till February)

Paul Thomas Anderson's There Will Be Blood, starring Daniel Day-Lewis, has taken several top awards from the National Society of Film Critics (for full story click here). However, I for one had barely heard of the film due to the ridiculous discrepancy between US and UK release dates. It's old news for Uncle Sam, where it was first glimpsed back in September, whereas we Brits won't get a piece of the action till...wait for it... February the 15th!!!!

Yes, I realise that this is a situation that has gone on since celluloid began, but surely it's time to start redressing the balance? In a digital age it's simply inexcusable to stagger international release dates to this degree. If anyone has any further thoughts as to the (presumably commercial) advantages of doing this, I'd be grateful to hear them.

Here endeth the rant.

Odeon Reports Record Year For UK Cinema

The UK Box Office is celebrating almost 8% growth in takings in 2007, as the popularity of cinema hits a record high in recent years. The news comes as thousands decided to ditch Christmas traditions and instead grab a film and a box of popcorn with family and friends this Boxing Day.

While one in ten planned a trip to the cinema over the Christmas period, the release of I Am Legend took over £2 million on Boxing Day alone – beating recent box office records for a UK opening on this day. ODEON itself welcomed 187,905 guests to its cinemas up and down the country on Boxing Day, a 60% increase on last year.

Likewise New Year revellers chose to nurse their hangovers with a film as the box office saw a growth of 25% compared to New Years Day 2006. With 111 cinemas nationwide, ODEON saw admissions increase by 10% over the two-week Christmas period with a total of 2.4 million opting for a trip to the cinema.

Rupert Gavin, CEO of ODEON and UCI Cinema Group, said: “This is the perfect way to end what has been an extremely strong year for UK cinema. The last weekend in July saw box office records smashed with the release of Transformers and The Simpsons Movie and now thanks to I Am Legend, Enchanted, Golden Compass, St.Trinian’s and Alvin and the Chipmunks we have had our the biggest Boxing Day and New Year’s Day box office.

“Likewise we’re ever optimistic about 2008, which helped by a number of hotly-anticipated films, is set to be another blockbuster year.”

A poll of over 1,200 ODEON film fanatics found that Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince and Indiana Jones are set to be the must-see films of 2008, closely followed by family favourite Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, the latest Batman instalment, The Dark Knight , and of course the imminent return of James Bond.

www.odeon.co.uk

Bono In Hot Water Over Africa Comments

Wannabe African-messiah Bono has attracted angry reactions to his statement that “Whenever you see Africans saying they don't want aid it's pretty clear it's not their sisters, brothers, cousins who are dying". Personally I don't see this as a hugely controversial thing to say, but it is nevertheless yet another example of why tactless celebrities shouldn't go wading into political dialogue they don't fully understand.

Essex-based charity A3 (African AIDS Action) representative Selasie responded: “I have lost my niece, sister-in-law and 47 other relatives to AIDS - my brother and sister and 54 other family members are HIV positive, so I find Bono’s comments naive and insulting. But as an Ethiopian I have witnessed with my own eyes how aid and western charities have created a dependency culture in Africa, fuelled wars and benefited corrupt dictators.”

I won't be the first blogger to say this, but Bono, please, please just shhhh.