Blue Mondays

Let’s face it: Mondays tend to get the better of us all. After a shambolic weekend simple tasks like getting up from the bed and facing the new week of fresh, exciting opportunities can seem an ordeal even to the most optimistic minds. Monday has not traditionally offered any great excuses to leave important matters from your ‘to do’ list until tomorrow in the same way as, for instance, Fridays. London’s nightlife is not packed with thrilling events on Mondays; you really need to research intensively to find something reasonable to do. Not to worry; there is a safety haven in the heart of East London for people who would much rather escape the unbearable reality of the start of the week. This safety haven, brothers and sisters, is known as the Rhythm Factory’s eccentric open mic venue Spoonful of Poison.

The concept is simple: those with any talent can perform whether it is stand up comedy, poetry, music or things beyond human imagination –as long as they arrive before eight o’clock and put their names down on the sheet of paper located at the bar. Spoonful of Poison is not destructive towards anybody’s finances either; entry fees will not be charged and beverages are cheap. If you are not an aspirant artist of any kind you should show up any time between half eight and half eleven as that is the designated time slot for top quality performances. The variety of performers is extraordinary; you could end up witnessing anything from trombone poetry to the resurrected Sex Pistols; from a guy playing his game console to rising stand up comedy stars. It is not only the performers on stage that will take your breath away; the audience occasionally consists of intriguing regular characters and amusing hecklers. The cherry on the top of this delicious serving is the pleasant master of ceremonies, Mr. Spoon whose cockney niceness is beyond compare. It is indeed worth seeing and wondering how he manages to keep the circus together week after week without ever growing bitter. The next Monday you plan to take your own life; why bother? Just head down to Whitechapel High Street, kick back and enjoy the show.

For more info visit www.rhythmfactory.co.uk

By Laura Rosten

Christopher Lee's Lessons In Delusion

If you ever want a really good laugh, watch The Many Faces of Christopher Lee. This is the hammiest example of an actor attempting to explain his craft that I've ever seen. Those familiar with Nigel Planer's creation Nicholas Craig will see many similarities here. Lee comes across as not only pompous, arrogant and lacking in all humility, but also as incredibly stupid and perhaps a little bit racist. Here's one of the clips that appears in the interview, of him singing a completely god-awful song about alcohol. He introduces this in the film by saying "I sang it as an opera, as a pop song and as a musical. I think my Grandmother (who was an opera singer) would have been proud."

Christopher, I beg to differ.



To see the full film in all it's glory, here are the links:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

Ronnie Barker's Classic 'Fork Handles' Script To Go Under The Hammer

The actual hand-written script for arguably the greatest British comedy sketch of all time is to go under the hammer.

Written by Ronnie Barker in the 1970's on 4 pages of A4 lined paper under his alias, Gerald Wiley, Fork Handles (or Four Candles) was first aired on The Two Ronnies show on September 4 1976 and has since gone down in TV comedy folklore as one of the truly iconic moments in television history.

Now, the sketch is to be auctioned by memorabilia specialist, The Original Memorabilia Company, and is expected to reach at least £50,000.

The script first came to light in 2006 on BBC1's Antiques Roadshow. The BBC Antiques expert Mark Allen said "I literally can't contain my excitement...I'm possibly about to hold something very historic...the thought that he actually sat down and wrote this is absolutely amazing".

The BBC subsequently recorded a follow up with the greatest finds of the series and the script headlined the show with a five minute piece with Ronnie Corbett confirming its authenticity." It was quite sweet for me to see his handwriting again... it certainly is his handwriting" said Ronnie Corbett.

For 30 years The Two Ronnies entertained us in a career spanning 98 television shows, 12 series, several Christmas specials and numerous 'Sold Out' London stage shows. Of all the sketches they ever performed, the British public voted 'Fork Handles' 'The Greatest Sketch Of All Time'.

Peter Spicer from The Original Memorabilia Company, said: "The Two Ronnies are a national institution and Ronnie Barker, a comedy genius. We are absolutely thrilled to be auctioning his finest piece of work". "To say this is the television equivalent of Lennon's lyrics to 'Imagine' would not be an unreasonable comparison. We expect it to sell for at least £50,000".

Away from the TV camera, Ronnie Barker was a very private person and would often decline requests for personal appearances, instead preferring to give personal items away. The Fork Handles script, or Annie Finkhouse to give it its original title, is one of a number of original items believed to have been given away by Ronnie Barker in the late 1970s, long before works of this type were regarded to have any value.

Ronnie Barker's widow Joy, has also confirmed she does not have a hand-written copy of Fork Handles in her collection and was happy for this script to be sold.

Hand-written letters and personal documents continue to attract very large prices at auction. George Harrison's handwritten lyrics to the Beatles' song, While My Guitar Gently Weeps, fetched £152,552 in a US memorabilia auction. A letter of surrender signed by Irish rebel Padraig Pearse at the end of the 1916 uprising has sold for almost £500,000 at a Dublin auction and Marlon Brando's personal copy of the screenplay for The Godfather went for £176,000.

The script is neatly written in red ink and takes up four sheets of A4.

For the uninitiated, the sketch features Ronnie Corbett as a shopkeeper in a hardware shop becoming increasingly frustrated by a customer, played by Ronnie Barker, because he continually misunderstands what the customer is requesting.

The auction of the Fork Handles sketch is to take place via the company's website www.originalmemorabilia.co.uk with bids being accepted up to Thursday 20th December 2007 at 1700 hours GMT.

The Original Memorabilia Company specialise in high quality and unusual entertainment memorabilia and official signed limited editions from Fawlty Towers 'The Germans' and Tony Hancock's 'The Blood Donor', to original 1966 stadium seating from the original Wembley stadium.

The Ornate Johnsons – 5 December

Wednesday 5 December 7.45pm
Gulbenkian Theatre, Canterbury

"Jerry Sadowitz calls them the best sketch group since Python. Frankly, who are we to argue?" Sarah Dempster, The Guardian

The hugely talented five-strong sketch troupe presents an evening of their unique brand of sketches and songs at the Gulbenkian Theatre. Their show features excerpts from their two-week sell-out residency at London’s renowned Soho Theatre and Brighton Festival award-winning show.

Their style of comedy commonly likened to that of Not The Nine O’Clock News, The Two Ronnies and Monty Python has earned the group much critical acclaim and an industry favourite reputation: along with several BBC Radio projects in the pipeline, earlier this year their specially-written Edwardian themed sketch show The Ornate Johnsons’ Edwardian Spectacular was recorded and televised on BBC4.

On line bookings www.gulbenkiantheatre.co.uk

Borat - funniest cut scene

If you haven't seen this you really should...
http://www.lolcrazy.com/file/169-borat-baywatch.html

Rob Newman Comedy - New For BBC Four, 30 October

Tuesday 30 October 2007
The History of the World Backwards
10.00-10.30pm BBC Four

In The History of the World Backwards, comedian Rob Newman returns to television with a unique perspective on historical events in this brand new series for BBC Four.

Fusing comedy sketches, history, archive and music, it’s a time warp where the world moves in reverse, but time still flows forwards. This is history in reverse.

This first episode sees Nelson Mandela enter prison a sweet-natured Spice girls fan but emerge from long incarceration a terrorist bent on the armed overthrow of the state.

From 2007 and through the 1990's there is a steady decline in I.T. jobs and from the 1990's to the 1970’s there is competition to have an even bigger computer than your neighbours. We also feel the pain of geneticists Watson and Crick as every day they get further away from understanding the secret workings of DNA.

In Brazil, the mop-topped Bororo and Kayapo people claim descent from Beatles tribute bands whose plane crash-landed on its way to a Beatles tribute band convention.

In Britain, closure of the M6 and Gatwick airport in response to climate chaos, means an end to supermarkets. In this new economic climate, Dr Sigmund Freud diversifies the business, combining psychiatry with a Veg Box delivery scheme, with the slogan 'Tastes As Good As Mother's Milk'.

This episode also introduces for the first time Galileo, Kepler and the Duchess of Padua who are bent on solving the mysteries of salvage technology. We find them sifting through junk antique technology from our time, trying to work out its meaning. Galileo solves the riddle of the lean, mean, fat-reducing grilling machine. But Kepler keeps secret his re-discovery of how to make electricity, selfishly hoarding the illicit joy of being the first person for hundreds of years to dance to disco classic 'Ain't No Stopping us Now' by McFadden & Whitehead.

This is history as you’ve never seen it before.
Written by and starring Rob Newman, the series features a cast including Richard McCabe, Lucy Liemann, Colin McFarlane, Anton Lesser, Jim Howick and Su Lin Looi.

South Park Is Back!

To celebrate the 10th Anniversary of one of the most successful animated shows of all time, Paramount Home Entertainment is releasing The Complete Fifth Season for the first time ever, and re-launching Seasons 1 & 2, all available from 22nd October 2007.

Fresh from their 2007 Emmy® win for Outstanding Animated Program, South Park is still going strong a decade after the controversial show first graced our TV screens.

Created by comic geniuses Trey Parker and Matt Stone, South Park began in 1992 when Parker and Stone, at the time students at the University of Colorado, met in a film class and created an animated short called Jesus vs. Frosty, featuring prototypes of the main characters of South Park. .

After creating a series with FOX and then Comedy Central, the show premiered in August 1997 featuring the misadventures of four foul-mouthed, troublemaking young boys in a small, backward town in the Colorado Rockies. South Park quickly became famed for its social commentary and outrageous ridicule, and is now in its 11th Season. Having been nominated for the Emmy Award for Outstanding Animated Program seven times, the show has now won twice; once in 2005 for the episode Best Friends Forever and the win this year for the 2006 episode Make Love, Not Warcraft.

SOUTH PARK: THE COMPLETE FIFTH, FIRST AND SECOND SEASONS are available to buy from 22nd October 2007 from Paramount Home Entertainment

Witty in the City

The Water Poet Cellar Bar, Bishopsgate, London
13th September 2007

I stumbled into this new, unfortunately named comedy night with fairly low expectations. I've spent many a wasted evening sitting in damp pub cellars listening to average comedians flogging their jokes to death, so naturally expected more of the same. However, I was treated to an evening of generally excellent comedy, opening with a strong set from Junior Simpson who instantly charmed the crowd with his tale of smuggling a fruit salad into Australia. Phil Dinsdale followed with a comparatively average set until the evening peaked with the fantastic Carey Marx (pictured). I can't recommend this guy strongly enough - he's a gagsmith of the highest order. Baiting the audience into begging him to tell his new joke about rape, he coolly retorted "nah, you had to be there". Masterful stuff. The evening then took another slight dip with the clearly nervous, if promising beginner Marlon Davis (who to be fair had an impossible job following Marx), before Paul Sinha rounded off with a consistently well-observed act based around the premise of being a butch asian homosexual in an increasingly confused world.

This is a promising comedy night in a great little venue, and if they sort the name out and find themselves a new compère they could be onto something.