Gervais Doesn't Deserve Globe

It's not exactly news that Ricky Gervais has won yet another award, this time a Golden Globe for Extras. As a fan, I'm certainly not averse to the idea of Gervais (who I consider to have one of the sharpest comedy brains of our generation) receiving due credit for his work. But I do feel, in this case, they got it wrong. Now, admittedly the competition wasn't all that strong (30 Rock, Californication, Entourage and Pushing Daisies were the rivals), but nevertheless I think at least one of these shows (namely Entourage) was a better all-round piece of television.

The US infatuation with anything touched by the hand of Gervais is getting a bit embarrassing. Witness for example his guest turn on The Simpsons, which turned out to be little more than a watered-down David Brent dancing to the same old tune. Or look at Stardust, where his cameo as a space-merchant was once again reduced to a series of Brent-ish facial expressions and grammatical punctuations that we've become so used to.

The rumour is that Ricky's next project with Stephen Merchant will be a straight drama. I've not doubt they are capable of handling a serious piece, and in fact I'm fairly confident they'll excel (my theory has always been that good comedians can always handle 'heavier' material but rarely does it work the other way round). But whether the US (and indeed for that matter the UK) sycophants will allow him to grow out of Brent remains to be seen. I'd hate to see him follow the path so sadly trodden by Steve Coogan.

Thought For The Day

Please oh please could Newcastle United give Alan Shearer the job of manager. The reason? So that we'll no longer have to put up with his horrendous punditry on MOTD - the combination of him and Lawro is televisual cyanide. If he mentions the phrase "classic centre-forward's goal" one more time I'm going to throw a brick through my television. The man (and his ridiculous Island of receding hair) is a menace to the good name of entertainment. This is, after all, the whole point of football. So with that in mind I put in a vote for getting a comedian on the pundit panel - I mean let's face it, you could hold your own in that shower with only a basic grasp of the fundamentals. Frank Skinner for example would do an excellent job - at least he'd have something slightly more interesting to say than "that was sloppy" (Alan Hanson's oft-heard catchphrase). I'll tell you what's "sloppy" Alan - your shamefully limited vocabulary and simplistic usage of the English language!

Merton Losing The Midas Touch?

Hands up all those who feel Paul Merton is losing the plot on 'Have I Got News For You'? Personally, I've always felt audiences have been more than generous in their appreciation of Merton's often average comedy on the show, but on the basis of this week's performance (HIGNFY 17/12/07), this may not be for much longer. His gags often fell flat, his 'quirky' observational humour failing to deliver the kind of orgasmic responses to which he has become accustomed.

Comments on this gladly appreciated. I find Merton a difficult man to criticise, as he appears (on the surface at least) to have an army of passionate and unwavering supporters. But, despite my fears of being hunted down by the Merton-mob, I will say this: it's time someone else had a turn.

Rhydian's Fans Up In Arms Over Dodgy Phoneline Claims

Welsh grannies everywhere are up in arms about last Saturday's x-factor final. The reason? Apparently phone lines were "constantly blocked", meaning that many who tried to vote for Rhydian (the 1-3 favourite) could not get through. According to the BBC website, several grannies tried phoning "over ten times" without success.

Whilst it's difficult to work up much genuine passion about this story, it does nevertheless seem to show that the days of rigged phone-ins and dodgy TV comps are far from over. Although to be honest, anyone who phones in 10 times to vote on the x-factor deserves everything they get.

MTV UK Searches For A New Presenter Using MySpace

MTV UK has partnered with MySpace to search for a brand new presenter to host MTV News. From today, anyone will be able to audition for the job of a lifetime simply by using their MySpace page.

Budding presenters can apply for the role by uploading video showreels onto the Random Report profile page: uk.myspace.com/randomreport, where MTV producers will be poised and ready to assess all applications.

By bagging one of the top showbiz jobs on TV, one lucky online auditionee will be plucked from obscurity to follow in the footsteps of ex-presenters Cat Deeley, Edith Bowman, Russell Brand, Alex Zane, Trevor Nelson and Kelly Brook – all of whom started their illustrious careers at the world-famous studios in Camden. Presenting daily bulletins across MTV ONE, MTV Hits, TMF, MTV Base and VH1, the successful candidate will also get the chance to travel the world and brush shoulders with A’ list stars such as Justin Timberlake, 50 Cent and Cameron Diaz. And as if that wasn’t enough, the new presenter will also be in line to present from the MTV Europe Music Awards 2008 – being held in Liverpool next November.

To help potential candidates create the perfect showreel, MySpace has persuaded MTV News stars Trevor Nelson and Rickie Haywood-Williams to come up with some top tips. To view Trevor Nelson’s video blog simply log onto uk.myspace.com/randomreport and follow the links.

Top Tips on the perfect show-reel from MTV presenter Rickie Haywood-Williams:

1. Be Yourself. Let as much of your personality shine through as possible
2. Have a Laugh. Don’t take yourself too seriously
3. Know who your audience is. This helps with the way you convey information and carry yourself.
4. Practice, Practice, Practice. Use every opportunity to hone your skills.
5. Keep an eye on the competition. It keeps you on your toes
6. Look after your body – no one wants to watch or listen to a minger
7. Ignore No.6 – PARTY EVERY NIGHT LIKE THERE’S NO TOMORROW
8. Get hooked up with a celebrity to get into the showbiz pages
9. Never complain, never explain because this job ROCKS!

To audition

Just upload a video of yourself presenting to camera that is no longer than two minutes before December 21st.

MTV will then sift through all of the videos and invite the very best to London to audition for the fulltime position.

There’s no experience necessary, all that MTV ask is that you’re fun and won’t be fazed by interviewing some of the world’s biggest stars from the film, music and entertainment world.

Ronnie Barker's Classic 'Fork Handles' Script To Go Under The Hammer

The actual hand-written script for arguably the greatest British comedy sketch of all time is to go under the hammer.

Written by Ronnie Barker in the 1970's on 4 pages of A4 lined paper under his alias, Gerald Wiley, Fork Handles (or Four Candles) was first aired on The Two Ronnies show on September 4 1976 and has since gone down in TV comedy folklore as one of the truly iconic moments in television history.

Now, the sketch is to be auctioned by memorabilia specialist, The Original Memorabilia Company, and is expected to reach at least £50,000.

The script first came to light in 2006 on BBC1's Antiques Roadshow. The BBC Antiques expert Mark Allen said "I literally can't contain my excitement...I'm possibly about to hold something very historic...the thought that he actually sat down and wrote this is absolutely amazing".

The BBC subsequently recorded a follow up with the greatest finds of the series and the script headlined the show with a five minute piece with Ronnie Corbett confirming its authenticity." It was quite sweet for me to see his handwriting again... it certainly is his handwriting" said Ronnie Corbett.

For 30 years The Two Ronnies entertained us in a career spanning 98 television shows, 12 series, several Christmas specials and numerous 'Sold Out' London stage shows. Of all the sketches they ever performed, the British public voted 'Fork Handles' 'The Greatest Sketch Of All Time'.

Peter Spicer from The Original Memorabilia Company, said: "The Two Ronnies are a national institution and Ronnie Barker, a comedy genius. We are absolutely thrilled to be auctioning his finest piece of work". "To say this is the television equivalent of Lennon's lyrics to 'Imagine' would not be an unreasonable comparison. We expect it to sell for at least £50,000".

Away from the TV camera, Ronnie Barker was a very private person and would often decline requests for personal appearances, instead preferring to give personal items away. The Fork Handles script, or Annie Finkhouse to give it its original title, is one of a number of original items believed to have been given away by Ronnie Barker in the late 1970s, long before works of this type were regarded to have any value.

Ronnie Barker's widow Joy, has also confirmed she does not have a hand-written copy of Fork Handles in her collection and was happy for this script to be sold.

Hand-written letters and personal documents continue to attract very large prices at auction. George Harrison's handwritten lyrics to the Beatles' song, While My Guitar Gently Weeps, fetched £152,552 in a US memorabilia auction. A letter of surrender signed by Irish rebel Padraig Pearse at the end of the 1916 uprising has sold for almost £500,000 at a Dublin auction and Marlon Brando's personal copy of the screenplay for The Godfather went for £176,000.

The script is neatly written in red ink and takes up four sheets of A4.

For the uninitiated, the sketch features Ronnie Corbett as a shopkeeper in a hardware shop becoming increasingly frustrated by a customer, played by Ronnie Barker, because he continually misunderstands what the customer is requesting.

The auction of the Fork Handles sketch is to take place via the company's website www.originalmemorabilia.co.uk with bids being accepted up to Thursday 20th December 2007 at 1700 hours GMT.

The Original Memorabilia Company specialise in high quality and unusual entertainment memorabilia and official signed limited editions from Fawlty Towers 'The Germans' and Tony Hancock's 'The Blood Donor', to original 1966 stadium seating from the original Wembley stadium.

Good Advice – Shame About The Timing

Parental advice is all well and good, but getting sex tips from your mum whilst in flagrante is every man’s worst nightmare. And that’s exactly what happens in ‘Good Advice’, the latest comedy sketch from the BBC’s G.I. Jonny HIV awareness campaign.

Following the success of the first G.I. Jonny film, where the innuendo-laden antics of the eponymous action figure G.I. Jonny and his arch enemy Captain Bareback led to outrage from the PC brigade, this excruciatingly funny film is likely to further fan the flames.

The Good Advice film is part of an online information campaign aimed at raising and spreading awareness of HIV in the UK among 16-24 year olds. Along with BBC TV and radio programming, the film directs viewers to an interactive website www.gijonny.co.uk where, as well as finding out more about HIV and AIDS, you can create your own customised G.I. Jonny virtual action figure which can be sent to friends and downloaded to Facebook, thus creating your own army and protecting your friends.

G.I. Jonny is also on the move, ‘informing and protecting’ the nation about HIV with a series of events in towns and cities across the UK, as well as a marching parade through London on Friday November 30 in advance of World AIDS Day.

‘Good Advice’ goes live on Monday November 12, but you can enjoy an exclusive preview from 12pm on Friday November 9 at http://www.gijonny.co.uk/preview.shtml

The South Bank Show: Annie Lennox Sunday 25 November

The iconic multi-million record selling artist Annie Lennox will be profiled on the South Bank Show.

Exclusive access to an exciting and intimate rehearsal with her band, gives an insight into the thrill of preparing for a live performance: which enables her to re-interpret her recordings to give the audience something completely unique. We see her mesmerising performance at a peace concert, showcasing an artist not afraid of pushing boundaries, with a voice that shines and soars.

Melvyn Bragg talks to Annie Lennox providing a rare and exclusive insight into this very private star. Annie Lennox talks candidly about her life, from her sheltered upbringing in Aberdeen to her arrival at the Royal Academy Of Music where, on her first day, she realised she would never make it as a flautist; from her decision at 21 to become a singer, and her “hell of a journey” with Dave Stewart, to launching her solo career.

Annie Lennox talks about her fourth solo album, Songs Of Mass Destruction, which lends her voice to how she feels about the world and the human race; and how writing music saw her through her devastating marriage break up.

In a career that has spanned over 25 years, including the 15 years since Annie released her first solo album, Diva, no other British female artist has achieved so much. Over 78 million sales across the globe, and 33 hit singles complement the four Grammies, 11 BRITS, five Ivor Novellos, an Oscar, and two Golden Globes amongst other accolades. In addition to her artistic achievements, Annie is a celebrated activist and humanitarian.

Sigur Ros - BBC Two The Culture Show Special

For only the second time in its history, BBC Two’s The Culture Show tomorrow devotes an entire 30 minute programme to a musical artist – the incomparable Sigur Rós.

Filmed in both the band’s native Iceland and during their recent visit to the UK, the show is an intimate exploration of the four members of Sigur Rós and the music they make featuring interviews, performances and clips from their critically acclaimed film ‘Heima’.

This special edition of The Culture Show is screened on BBC Two at 11.50pm on November 7th.

South Park Is Back!

To celebrate the 10th Anniversary of one of the most successful animated shows of all time, Paramount Home Entertainment is releasing The Complete Fifth Season for the first time ever, and re-launching Seasons 1 & 2, all available from 22nd October 2007.

Fresh from their 2007 Emmy® win for Outstanding Animated Program, South Park is still going strong a decade after the controversial show first graced our TV screens.

Created by comic geniuses Trey Parker and Matt Stone, South Park began in 1992 when Parker and Stone, at the time students at the University of Colorado, met in a film class and created an animated short called Jesus vs. Frosty, featuring prototypes of the main characters of South Park. .

After creating a series with FOX and then Comedy Central, the show premiered in August 1997 featuring the misadventures of four foul-mouthed, troublemaking young boys in a small, backward town in the Colorado Rockies. South Park quickly became famed for its social commentary and outrageous ridicule, and is now in its 11th Season. Having been nominated for the Emmy Award for Outstanding Animated Program seven times, the show has now won twice; once in 2005 for the episode Best Friends Forever and the win this year for the 2006 episode Make Love, Not Warcraft.

SOUTH PARK: THE COMPLETE FIFTH, FIRST AND SECOND SEASONS are available to buy from 22nd October 2007 from Paramount Home Entertainment

Nigella Express

This is one of the most bizarre programmes you'll watch all year. Saucy kitchen tart Nigella Lawson finally appears to have cracked under the combined strain of being married to Charles Saatchi, supplying London's yummy-mummies with a constant stream of 'comfort food' and trying to make dumplings seem sexy to a disinterested monday night audience. At one point during last night's show, she walked into her 'pantry' (clearly a set in some disused warehouse in the east end) and announed that she liked going in there merely to "stroke the shelves". Doctor!

The premise of the show is the Nigella pretends to be a busy working mother whilst finding ingenious ways to prepare meals on the fly. The most cringe-inducing scenes are the ones in which actors masquerade as friends/family members in an attempt to make her on-screen persona look in the least bit normal. Someone please tell the BBC that we all know it's a set, we all know Nigella's domestic affairs are handled by a team of servants and we all know that this food is stuff we will never, ever get round to making (and even if we wanted to couldn't possibly source the ridiculously exotic ingredients).

Someone really needs to put a stop to this kind of dross. It's patronising, it's pointless and worst of all it's completely and utterly compulsive.

Saxondale

Steve Coogan does anti-heroes like no-one else can. Alan Partridge is his most famous creation but I'd argue that with Tommy Saxondale, he's more than matched him. Saxondale is a middle-aged ex-roadie running a pest control business. The perfect job, as it allows him to take out his innate anger issues on the pigeons, rodents, moths and bats he is variously employed to exterminate.

Now at the end of its second series, and richly meriting a third, Coogan's latest creation has been steadily gathering speed. Rather than choose to unleash the series in a cloud of hype, the BBC have sensibly allowed it to mature quietly, allowing the dross that's clogging up BBC3 to mop up most of the marketing budget ('Grown-ups' anyone?). It still amazes me that many people still haven't even heard of the programme, let alone seen it, but this only serves to greatly increase my enjoyment of it.

There's a large number of people who refuse to let Steve Coogan grow out of Alan Partridge. But anyone that knows his work knows that he is one of the most dexterous comedians of our time - characters like Duncan Thicket, Paul Calf, Tony Ferrino and Ernest Moss are testament to that. And in the character of Tommy Saxondale he's expertly captured the zeitgeist of the frustrated 70s rock child - the true 'grumpy old man'. Saxondale is no fool - he's witty, clever and at times even charming. But what he can't do, as with all of Coogan's greatest creations, is go with the flow. And I love him for it.